"Creating is a surrender to the forces that move inside of you. It is a knowing surrender to the unknown. It is a willingness to relate to all that arises." A Course in Love, Dialogues
When I stand at a blank canvas anything is possible. I face the unknown with both excitement and terror. What will arise? Can I face it? Can I face myself? What if it is stupid, ugly, childish and crap? ... What if it is too beautiful?
If I cling to wonder and curiosity, I dive in with pleasure. If I listen to doubt and fear, I experience judgement and shut down. Sometimes they intertwine and I ride the highs and lows. Either way, to begin, I must surrender any sense of control over the outcome. No matter how much technique I have, it will be a dance to the end.
That is creative process. Facing the unknown over and over. It is a practice of learning to love what arises. It asks me to release judgement, attachment to what will be and to get out of my own way.
If I follow the subtle cues as they arise - moving toward this color, that stroke, this line - something emerges through me. I am being expressed. "I AM" expressing.
And I see that all the questions are but a resistance that has accumulated in my mind. The creative process is also a practice of erosion; a wearing away of the resistance so that I may stand before the unknown with curiosity and wonder, childlike in the innocent expression that arises.
If I do that at the canvas, it becomes possible to do that in my life - living the expression of my authentic "I am" moment by precious moment.
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